Film Review - Bullet Train (15)

 We are right  - on - schedule.

'Bullet Train'. When most cinema-goers aren't acquainted with a new film's source material, the title is key - both in drawing attention and setting expectations. So, Bullet Train... Depend on it taking place on a high-velocity overland transport vehicle. The story will likely be fast-moving also. And the other meaning of 'bullet' will probably feature a lot. All of which is further suggested by the poster, which includes - among other intriguing passengers - a harassed-looking Brad Pitt. This doesn't ensure that the film will be a global hit, but it does up the movie's chances of departing the station with serious opening weekend impetus. And if it does, it should only pick up speed - because this film is fun. Not big grown-up fun, but fun nonetheless, of a kind that delivers on the title's promise.

Pitt plays a spiritually drained hitman nicknamed Ladybug, who returns to the profession post-convalescence for what should be a simple and non-murderous job - namely to retrieve a suitcase full of money from the fast train running between Tokyo and Kyoto. It should be be a one-stop assignment, literally. But for related reasons multiple other assassins are taking the same train journey, and Ladybug - who just wants to keep everything zen - finds his day growing ever longer, and more violent. 

The movie's origin is a novel by thriller writer Kotara Isako, translated into English as Bullet Train and subsequently adapted for the screen by Zak Olkewicz (whose other writing credit is for one of Netflix's Fear Street slasher trilogy). Whatever else has survived from Isako's novel, its darkly comic tone is intact, an element enhanced by director David Leitch. Check Leitch's CV for clues to the tone. Bullet Train has the brutal close-quarters combat of Atomic Blonde and the John Wick franchise, combined with the relentless comedic editing and irreverent narrative style of Deadpool 2 - all projects on which the director has worked. His new film is bruising and breathless, and if a particular piece of humour doesn't work, there'll be another just down the track that totally will.

The storyteller who springs early to mind, however, is Guy Ritchie, what with the movie's roster of colourful killers introduced via on-screen text and whiplash-inducing cutaways. This does create a sense of 'seen this before', but that feeling is ultimately dispelled by the film's own style - a glossy comic-book aesthetic and unapologetically silly humour, combined with that crunching violence. It succeeds in being convincingly bloody and cartoonish (if you find that thought repellant, I get it), the mayhem escalating on a background of Hello Kitty-style kitsch. There are regular dialogue-based breathers, I should add, if that all sounds too exhausting. However rapid the pace of the action, the movie does - like the train itself - have regular stops. 

Also applying brakes to the runaway daftness are a clutch of impressive performances. Not least of these is Pitt, who's always good value when making fun of himself like here. His hitman-in-therapy angst is the film's most successful running joke, and the ongoing bluetooth dialogue with his handler earns a great late-in-the-day payoff. More surprising in its entertainment value is the relationship between Ritchie-esque London hitmen Tangerine and Lemon (Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Brian Tyree Henry); the affection you end up feeling for these multiple-murdering besties may take you by surprise. Add to that the gravitas of Hiroyuki Sanada's elder yakuza and the acidic sweetness of Joey King's lethal mob daughter and you've got one eclectic mix of deadly opponents, not all of whom will make it to the end of the line.

Criticisms have been levelled at the story's over-the-top conclusion, but for my money the outlandish premise lends itself to excess, with the more ludicrous stunts only adding to the entertainment. Plus, a fine third-act addition to the cast ups the ante. True not all the jokes work, but enough do, and even the one that felt to me most laboured took on new poignancy by the end. And as for accusations of the original novel having been 'white-washed', Isako himself has pointed out the benefits of a global cast to story and box-office; the film is culturally Japanese, and has more than one key Japanese players, but assassins come to the party from all over the place, when the stakes are sufficiently high. 

This cinematic ride will not be to everyone's taste, as the discrepancy between critic and audience scores on Rotten Tomatoes already suggests. (General audiences like it better). If you're looking for something remotely deep and cerebral, this isn't it. If however you want an unashamedly flashy big-screen experience with barrelling momentum, countless twists, and cheerfully crass gags both verbal and visual (including several gratuitous cameos one of which made me laugh out loud), here's your movie. Bullet Train does exactly what it says - plus quite a bit more - on the titular tin.

Gut Reaction: Started by wanting to laugh more. Then it swept me up, and I did. A lot. (Also, I want the pin-stripe waistcoat worn by Aaron Taylor-Johnson.)

Memorable Moment: So that's how that guy died. I'd been wondering!

Ed's Verdict: 7.5/10. Slick and trashy, violent and hilarious, Bullet Train is sugar-rush of a film for grown-ups - just not when they're feeling very grown up.